A few years ago, I found myself on my own, after the father of my two children decided to leave us. I worked hard to take care of my family and didn't really have much of a social life of my own. I had two good friends in similar circumstances who helped me through this period. What social life we had was usually at one of our homes together, snacking, watching TV, or just talking. Often our conversations wandered into what type of man we would like to have in our lives the next time love came calling. Of course, we never really expected to meet the perfect specimen that we dreamed up within our lifetimes. It was just fantasy after all!
An acquaintance of mine suggested one day that I try out a new dating site that she had just heard about. Lets Call it Dorks-r-us to avoid any liability issues. I met this dork, I mean man (loosely) the first night on the site, he sounded very intelligent, funny and from what he was telling me seemed very well rounded. As we chatted with each other over a few weeks, I let him know that I had not been with a man in quite a while, and needed to take things slow. I let him know upfront that I had two children because I wanted to be honest with him from the start, he informed me that he also had a child so it was no problem because he loved children. He said that he loved kids and that being with his son was the biggest joy in his life. Everything seemed good to me, so I agreed to go out for dinner and dancing with him.
Well on the evening of our date I ran around like headless chicken picking out clothes, picking up one of my friends who was going to babysit, getting my hair done (you know the whole nine yards thing) just to look my best for this hunk, at least that’s how he looked in his profile photo. My friend told me to calm down before I hyperventilated, she told me to try not to look too needy or I would scare him off. “Oh my god if only that had been true!” In any event, I finally calmed down by going outside to wait for him. Then all of a sudden there he was! I eagerly rushed forward to set my eyes on the incredible body, great hair, and green eyes. I bent over to say hi and was shocked senseless! I thought, “please god tell me its not him!” I actually pinched myself to wake up from this horrible dream, but to no avail. The he sat, and he sure was not what I was expecting! I was so stunned that I just stood there like a dumb mute. Not knowing what else to do, I silently got into the car.
Well, at least it was not all bad. The rug on his head looked like it was skinned from the hind end of a Labrador retriever, and I like Labrador retrievers. He must have posted a picture of someone else. He did not even begin to look like his online picture. He was as bald as a billiard ball under that amazingly bad toupee. And he was not even bright enough to have made it a blond toupee. He did not have green eyes like his picture. They were bloodshot, dark, and somewhat shifty. He looked like he had a serious drug addiction. The well toned muscles in the picture were nowhere in evidence on this sorry excuse for a man. He told me he was taking me to a top notch restaurant. As we pulled up to the “Pig And Trough”. Well, at least the restaurant was in a neighborhood where nobody that I knew would frequent.
We were placed in a corner table.. It was actually not that bad looking from the inside. The decor was nice, and the waiters were all dressed in suits and ties. Maybe his idea of classy was not that bad after all. I had the fish special with sweet potato fries and he had a rack of lamb with roasted potato's. All the while I kept having to remove his hand from my thighs. He made a comment about how he liked women like me because we had not been with a real man in so long that we were desperate for sex. I responded that I would sooner have sex with a cucumber than with him. After eating, he asked me to dance. Once again, I had to keep removing his hands from various parts of my anatomy. I guess to show me what a great catch he was he decided to show off his dancing prowess. He tried to jive with me. At one point his hand slipped out of mine and I stumbled into the bar. Well that was about all I could take. I stormed out of the restaurant and caught a cab outside to the hospital. I was lucky that my broken nose set almost straight. In any event it is a constant reminder that I need to be more careful.
No more dating advice for me! From that point on I did my own site sleuthing. I worked long and hard and found several decent sites.
While I was researching dating sites, I stumbled across the following link, and it helped me zero in on the sites that I finally joined:
Personals Online
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